Woke up early…thought about getting up…heard the rain start…decided a warm bed was a wonderful place to be. A little on the coolish side this morning due to the rain so I stayed in the camper.
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Kim made an appointment yesterday to get new
tires on the truck today at Big O Tires in Casa Grande. Since we were both sure that a tire change at
Big O wasn’t going to be like a tire change at a Nascar race, I decided to stay
in camp again.
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I had time to myself while Kim was gone and
couldn’t settle on what to do. Read my book, work on another gnome or two, take
a walk…couldn’t sit outside even though the rain had quit because everything
was wet. So what to do?
Finally decided to work on the story of my
life, which sounds really hoity toity but isn’t. Anyway, this is the back story
to what I’m doing:
Back in the late 70’s, on one of our visits
to my Grandma Kintner, Jeff found a photo album and Grandma shared what
memories she had of the people in the photos.
When we left, Jeff mentioned that we should sit down with her sometime
and record some of her memories because when she’s gone, the memories are gone.
We never followed up on that.
Fast forward to 2024: Ezra gave
me a journal entitled “Letters to my Grandchildren” with my name engraved on
the front cover. The idea was that I could write in it and eventually give it
to Juniper and Whit. I tried…I really
tried to get something going in that journal, but it was a struggle. The title
says “Letters…” but letters about what?
I eventually came up with plan: first, I started by writing how I came
to have the journal; second, I wrote a brief paragraph about each of them at
the time I received it and third, I thought I’d write down random thoughts
which would give them insight into who I was.
After one or two unsatisfactory attempts at random glimpses, I came up
with the idea of writing about me, as in writing the highlights of my life;
something along the lines of what Jeff had been suggesting with regards to my
grandma. Who better to write down my memories than me, right? Then I ran into
some trouble.
I thought I could squeeze a brief history of my life into 2 or 3 journal
pages…writing spontaneously with ink on pages that measured 5x7. I was several
pages into it before I came to the conclusion that it was not working. My
intention had been to hit the highlights of my life chronologically, but the
problem was that my memories weren’t occurring in a linear fashion and my hand
couldn’t keep up with a brain that was on rapid fire. So, it was quickly becoming a very disjointed
story on messy journal pages. Bottom
line is that I’m 65, a mother of 5, I was married to Jeff for almost 32 years
before losing him to cancer and then I married his older brother…not to mention
I’m the only girl with 3 brothers, my dad died when I was twelve and my mom
remarried a couple of years later. Why I
thought I could give a coherent synopsis of my life in two or three pages is
beyond me but it sure sounded doable when I started.
So, I ripped those pages out of the journal and started over. But first,
I came up with a different, two-pronged approach: 1. Use the computer to write
the first draft, edit it and then handwrite it in the journal after I was
satisfied with what I was saying and 2. I would not limit myself on the number
of journal pages used to tell my story. If it took the whole journal and yet
another, so be it. I’m doing this so my grandkiddos can have a bigger picture
of me as a person. Given that memories can be subjective, I tried to be as
accurate as I could…I consulted my mom, my brothers, and a cousin who inherited
her mom’s genealogy books. And I’ve included pictures and some drawings.
That brings me to what I was doing this morning…handwriting some of what
I have typed on the computer into the journal. It’s turned into a fun journey; I
divided my life into four ‘parts’ (Karen…Jeff…Karen and Jeff…Kim n Karen) with
chapters in each part. Of course, Jeff’s
chapter is the shortest because I can’t speak for another person; but
obviously, he plays a big role in the Karen and Jeff chapter. Soon after Jeff died, I realized that I am the
keeper of the early Jeff and Karen memories; I am the only one left and if I
don’t tell some of our history, the memories from those years will die with me.
So, I feel a sense of responsibility to my kids/grandkiddos to at least write some
of our story down; if they don’t want to read it, that’s their call.
But I don’t have everything typed up yet; I’ve sort of stalled at the
end of the Karen and Jeff story, but I’ll get to it. Juniper and Whitaker will get the handwritten
version, but the typed version will also be available for my other
kids/grandkids. Family history is important and should be shared to the extent
that it can be.
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When Kim got back, we decided to
catch a movie in Casa Grande at 4:10 p.m. In the meantime, wewatched the movie
‘Tombstone’”, which is quickly becoming one of Kim’s favorites. Too cold and
windy to be outside so it was an inside kind of day.
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Rained on and off all day, which is a good thing. From everything I’ve
heard and seen, this was a dry winter.
So, a little inconvenient for humans but good stuff for animals and vegetation.
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There’s certainly no chance of imaging tonight. The sky is all over the
place: some blue overhead, with angry clouds on the horizon and big fluffy
white ones in between. To say nothing of the occasional rain. Perfect
opportunity to watch the latest episode of Reacher.
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Church is doing a Lent Challenge again this year…this time with photos. There’s
a daily theme, scripture and examples of ideas to get creativity flowing. This
stuff is right up my alley.
Today’s theme was fasting…take a picture of something you’re giving up
for Lent. I shortened it to fasting from
something for a day; I chose to give up piggy cookies for the day. The struggle
has been real, especially since I’ve hung out in the camper most of the day.
